Five months, Soccer Fields and Powepoint

March equals five months in. It is also when people start getting stupid in Iraq. Call it Spring fever, call it the campaigning season, whatever. We have seen a bit of uptick in events this week, and we have had some late nights and some high adventure, but luckily the IA (Iraqi Army) is all over it.

Earlier this week during a clearance operation in the city, the IA got a tip there was a bad guy with an especially bad kind of IED (improvised explosive device) in the city. The Brigade Commander rolled out with his PSD (personal security detachment- more of a private militia used mostly for defense, but in this and other cases, offensive targeted raids) and proudly came back with it. The coalition was skeptical that it was this particular kind of IED, so I set about verifying that it was what it was. When I showed up, it was sitting in the Brigade Commander's front lawn, with a herd of jubilant IA soldiers dancing around it high five-ing each other, and a chain smoking Brigade Commander grinning from ear to ear. He was very happy, and it was good to get it (and they guy who had it) off the street, but I was more concerned for the safety and stability of said improvised (which can mean prone to exploding at inopportune times) device and recommended we call the EOD guys over to make sure it was safe. The Brigade Commander was initially resistant, as he wanted to use it as a war trophy and perhaps as a coaster in his office, but after some persuasion, he relented.

EOD showed up about an hour later, and was unable to verify if it was in fact one of the bad IEDs (like there is a good kind), and he recommended we take it over to the IA Division side of the compound where there was a big open space (the helipad and the soccer field). The Brigade Commander approved reluctantly. We go downhill from here.

I'm not sure if he was reluctant because the Division Commander commands ruthlessly and he was afraid of what might happen to him, or if he was afraid we would destroy his war trophy (which we intended to do in order to render it safe) or if he was concerned about Americans screwing around with a bomb on the Holy IA Soccer Field.

I should elaborate more about the importance of soccer in Iraq. Soccer is very, very important. Soccer balls are more important to kids than food. Woe be unto you if you show up at a humanitarian assistance drop (we occasionally visit schools, orphanages and womens shelters to distribute food, candy, school supplies, etc) in the city without soccer balls to pass out. The Division regularly holds soccer matches on the field, and the Division Commander's team always wins (imagine that).

At around midnight, we took the thing over to the middle of the field and EOD went to work poking it and looking at it. After a couple of hours trying several things, they decided to try something else, and the IED blew up (don't worry; no one was hurt, and professionals did it). The bang was louder than anyone expected, and after that, we figured surely the Division Commander was now awake.

And he was.... Five minutes later, as the EOD guys were gathering evidence and packing up, my phone started blowing up. It was my Brigade Commander, furious not that we had blown up his new end table, but furious that we did it on the Division Soccer Field. I grabbed an interpreter to get the whole story, and apparently the first person the Division Commander called to see why the Americans were setting off IEDs on his compound was the Brigade Commander who put the bomb there.

So here is a Brigade Commander who, without help from anyone (including Americans) arrested a bad person with a bad IED and secured part of the city, and the Division Commander yells at him for blowing a hole in his soccer field. The hole wasn't even that big. We spent the rest of the night trying to smooth it over with the IA. There are some things about this country I will never understand.

This story isn't as good as the one above, but what the heck. This week I also spent time helping the Brigade G3 (operations guy) make Powerpoint slides for a big briefing they had. It was interesting, as the software was in Arabic. Luckily, the symbols are the same on the buttons, but it was a challenge. The simplest things for us in terms of technology are incredibly complicated. A five minute slide took about an hour and a half. It was also a true metric that we have won the war: We have successfully corrupted their Army with Powerpoint.

Sorry for the length. Hope you are well and thanks for reading.
Ron